7 Things Kids Want From Their Parents, According to Science!

Need help figuring out what your kids want? Here are 7 things you might not know about their world.

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Every parent dreams of having successful children. But what can you do as a parent to ensure that success? It’s definitely not about doing everything for your child, but rather, giving them what they need to formulate their own recipe for success.
While that does seem a bit vague, the good news is that these 7 things are what kids want from their parents with science fully backing it up!

1. Encourage their persistence

It’s easy to give up, isn’t it? Persistence is a vital skill all children need and it could be as simple as encouraging them to help instead of asking them to be your helpers.
Research from scientists at New York University found that using verbs that take action may create more resilience in the face of adversity. This latest research shows that after children have setbacks, the language used shapes their behavior in more actionable ways.

2. Sit and eat together

Even with statements shrouded in sarcasm, your kids want you to be present at dinner time. While activities and meetings may make that difficult some nights per week, being in a familiar setting and sharing food with your family has a huge impact on our kids. Not only do they feel safer and more secure, but it will fuel their future successes.
A nonprofit organization from Harvard University found that children that eat dinner together with their families 5 days per week are less likely to have problems that could threaten their success.
According to this research, kids that eat dinner with their parents have lower chances of getting into drugs and alcohol, getting pregnant, or suffering from depression. Plus, they have higher GPAs, greater self-esteem, and more robust vocabularies.

3. Help them hone their social skills

Perhaps while you’re gathered around the table dining together, you can focus on another thing your kids need from you. Helping them develop social skills will make it easier for them to navigate life with more success.
Discussing their social activity will help though it’s imperative to put it into action. From going to school to afterschool activities to even playing with the other children in the neighborhood, social skills are a skillset you don’t want your child to miss out on.
Pennsylvania State and Duke University paired up with a 20-year study that found a major correlation between social skills in kindergarten and success as an adult.
Children that had social skills and work well with others without prompting were better able to resolve their own problems, have a full-time job, and be helpful to others, all by the age of 25.

4. Read to them early on and often

Do you read to your children? Reading for pleasure is joined with greater intellect particularly in vocabulary, spelling, and math. Starting when they’re babies is the best time.
Kids who read books more than once a week have higher test scores, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics citing a study from New York University School of Medicine.
It was found that babies that are read to have better success upon entering elementary school.

5. Allow them to experience failure

No parent wants to see their kids struggle. But the fact remains that it is something children must undergo so they can be stronger in adulthood.
Having a fixed mindset means children get stuck in that endless loop while those that have a growth mindset learn to keep persevering past failures and find real solutions.
It’s better for children to fail because they learn to grow from it and then aren’t afraid of it. Rescuing children constantly shows them you don’t trust them to come out of it.
Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck puts these two types of mindsets to the test with jigsaw puzzles and found children with fixed thinking chose the easier options.

6. Don’t micromanage them

Children should be given reasonable choices for their age and allowed to pursue those. Granted, you can’t let your child choose to take the family car at age 6, but you can give him two choices of shoes to pick from when it comes time to leaving the house.
Parents that hover or “helicopter” don’t let children have the experience to decide for themselves. Maybe it’s their own fear of failure, but emotions have been found to be contagious.
Surround them with positive feelings and it’s more likely they’ll pick up on that instead of a constant swirl of stress.

7. Be responsive to their needs

When your child was a baby, you naturally responded to those cries to meet their needs. But as children grow, their needs change.
Perhaps they don’t need to be fed every several hours or be carried around all the time, but meeting the needs they have relative to their age builds healthier relationships.
A 2014 study showed that children that had parents respond to their signals in appropriate and prompt ways had healthier relationships even as adults. Furthermore, they performed better academically.
Building your relationship with your child will also benefit your own family, the prize? having wonderful memories you’ll always cherish together.

The Science is In!

Experts and their research have all weighed in on what is best for your children. See if you can incorporate these tactics into raising your children to help them reach for the stars as they grow into adulthood.

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